After yielding to the decree requiring all London residents and vistors, regardless of birth, subject themselves to the Hawksmoor kimchi burger experience my twitter friend Charlie Almond responded with incredulity:
Oh God no! Have you tried it. It’s gross!
I sort of understood what he meant. Burgers, like cupcakes and meatballs, two other madly popular retro comfort foods of the moment, put you in touch with your inner 12-year old. That’s a big part of their appeal. And any non-Korean 12-year-old will tell you the very idea of fermented, pungent, spicy cabbage-on-a-cheeseburger is gross. Likewise a slippery, grease-leaking two-fisted burger that’s as hard to hold securely with its bun as is creme caramel with chopsticks.
What did you find gross, I asked Charlie, the kimchi topping or the makeup of the burger itself?
Kimchi. I thought it tasted of terribly strong blue cheese. SO disappointing.
If anyone in the Almond family, inspired by a Momofuko Milk Bar creation, had plans to bake kimchi blue cheese croissants for Charlie this Christmas I would suggest they reconsider.
The Hawksmoor kimchi burger is hardly faultless. The safely spicy kimchi is not crunchy, as any sort of burger pickle ought to be.  It’s runny rather than chunky – no help to an unctious steakhouse patty which, augmented with beef marrow on the inside and braised beef on the outside, is engineered to be sloppy.
Even so, a great burger is an untidy, implosive handful you shouldn’t eat without a stack of napkins at the ready. And by that standard, the thrill-a-second Hawksmoor kimchi burger is as great as it is gross.
The kimchi burger (£15 with triple-fries chips) is only available at Hawksmoor’s new Seven Dials location (near Covent Garden), for lunch in the dining room,  all day and night at the bar.
I think the loose burger with kim chi loose-ness created an awful mess… But a tasty mess. I recommend it for kim chi lovers, but not for people who are sensitive to spice or garlic (of which my other half is one, and he ate one, and let’s leave it at that…)
Donna – Well put: I think you’re right on all counts.
I think there are some things that should never go on a burger – kimchi is definitely one of them!
Yes you get a sloppyish bun, but the Hawksmoor Burger is so damn juicy you can end up with that anyway. But when I had the kimchi, it was crunchy, not wet, and not too hot (though that may have been the richness of the meat tempering the heat). I thought that the kimich was the perfect partner for the rich beef & bone marrow meat patty in both taste & texture. But the great thing about Hawksmoor 7 dials is that you have choice, the classic burger or the kimchi.
Russell – Glad to know the texture/composition of your kimchi topping was different and, from the sound of it, superior to mine. You’re right, in this instance choice is a beautiful thing.