Until this week I assumed the appearance of mozzarella polka dots on Neapolitan-style pizzas was an unintended consequence of using the wrong cheese or handling the right cheese improperly.

But groundbreaking London pizza merchants like Franco Manca and Pizza Pilgrims may be convincing a new wave of pizza bakers and eaters that the dots are desirable.

“They’re becoming quite the fashion, aren’t they?” observed Nick Buckland of Yard Sale Pizza, a new pizzeria on Lower Clapton Road in the heart of hipster East London.

Yes there is a place for personal preferences, even amongst the cognoscenti in Naples. Some, like the great Enzo Coccia, want their pizza cheese to be stretchy and stringy. Others prefer their mozzarella smooth, flowing, oozy, molten. A few like it every which way but especially loose.

 
But in London like in Naples surely there could no following for mozzarella, be it from water buffalo milk (Mozzarella di Bufala) or cow’s milk (fior di latte), that seized up into fast-drying, quick-hardening patches you could pick off a pizza as easily as coins from a table.

Connecting the dots

I’m learning otherwise. When I’ve posted photos of polka-dotted pizzas displeasing to me these were wrongly interpreted as endorsements. The offenders hit the “like” button. When I released the video I shot at Coccia’s Pizzaria La Notizia in Naples outlining what to look for in fior di latte on a cooked pizza few London influencers commented on it.
 

#NoPizzaPolkaDots

The mozzarella dot matrix is threatening London’s pizza landscape. It’s a strong force with influential backers and it’s spreading like pox. I can’t beat it alone.

I need your help.

Write to your MP. Write to your GP, if you think that might help. When you spot the dreaded dots on a London pizza snap a photo of it and share it on Twitter, Instagram or Facebook with the name of the pizzeria and the hashtag #NoPizzaPolkaDots.

If you don’t have a smartphone or camera handy just write #NoPizzaPolkaDots on a napkin and leave it on the table. Remember, a new generation of oozy-mozzarella-loving pizza devotees is depending on us.