If you told me you were planning to open a swank restaurant two stories below ground level, in a luxury liner of a subterranean space occupied by the ghost of a sunken, 220-seat London restaurant known as Titanic, my response would be:
 
Look out for iceberg!
 
When I was served the massive burger (£15, including chips) at MASH, the London branch of the “Modern American Steak House” in the venue of the former Regent Palace Hotel where Marco Pierre White’s Titanic crashed and burned, one thing was apparent: No one at Copenhagen Concepts, the Danish restaurant group behind MASH, got that message.
 
The dry, bready, oversize white bun atop my burger was sad enough. But MASH London’s great recipe for disaster was burying its 250-gram (nearly 9 oz) patty, a handsomely pink blend of American and Uruguayan beef cuts, under an absurdly thick wedge of lettuce.

I don’t think I need to tell you what kind of lettuce it was.
 

 

 
MASH, 77 Brewer Street, London W1F 9ZN (map)