Same with burgers and meatloaf sandwiches: At their best I love them both. But give me a burger patty with the mealy, mushy consistency of moulded meatloaf and I’m transformed from young&foodish to young&moodish. How fortunate that no one saw this side of me when I, seated solo with no one to the left or right, tried the squashy Aberdeen Angus beef shin burger with foie gras and white truffle mayonnaise (£10.95) at the handsome Princess of Shoreditch pub in London. 

To guard his well being upon arriving in Great Britain the American expat must get accustomed to two phenomena:

1. Left-hand traffic
2. Meatloaf burgers

The impulse to feed bread crumbs, egg, onions, parsley and other assorted fillers and seasonings to burger mince (ground beef) is not unheard of in the USA, sadly, but rarely do you find leading chefs, prestigious cookery writers and, most significantly, experienced short-order grill cooks adulterating their burger recipes in said manner. In the UK you do. Sorry, guys, this is how you make meatloaf and meatballs, not burgers.

With burgers the better the beef the less crap you need to add to it. If you’ve sourced decent, fatty, coarsely ground beef the last thing you want is meat binders and stretchers to fill in its crevices, soak up its juices and mush its texture into a pâté. You shouldn’t need any seasonings other than salt and pepper, both sprinkled on at the last possible moment. And you probably don’t want to bury a good burger patty under chunky spaghetti sauce, as you might a slice of meatloaf or a meatball. Not even if you rebranded that sauce as plum tomato chutney, as the Princess of Shoreditch has done in a local dialect known as gastropub English.

Is it appropriate to tart up a workingman’s burger with the likes of foie gras and white truffle? Reasonable minds may disagree. I could have a four-hour argument with myself over the issue. But top a burger with foie gras and trufflle and then bury it all in chunky tomato sauce? Insanity. I can think of no surer way to complete the unwelcome transformation from Princess Burger to Prince Meatloaf.

Princess of Shoreditch,  76 Paul Street, London EC2A 4NE